I am addicted to jack off, what can i do?

Peace and Blessings!

Strong and blessed for the wise decision to seek help. This in itself is the first step towards the way to change, and as the Sages said[1], the one how comes for purify hashem helps him, the actions to change have a power from heaven to overcome the instinct. And there is no doubt that in the end you will succeed!

The first element that is important to know and remember is a great rule in Judaism: G-d does not bring on man an experience that he cannot with stand[2]. That is to say, the very fact that the Torah forbade this act, is itself the proof that every Jew, without exception, has the ability to overcome it, whatever the situation is. So you must believe in the powers that you have, that you certainly have the ability to overcome and withstand the experience, and if you instill this belief, you will see that everything is done much more easily. A parable for a man who needs to lift a weight, and according to his hypothesis it seems to him that it is to heavy and cannot do it, Then he will also try to lift, try a little and despair, but if yesterday he lifted this weight, then even today he will make an effort to lift it and in the end he will succeed, because he knows that he can. And it is true that after you have become accustomed and rooted in this bad thing, getting out of it is a “process” that may take some time, but in the end you will succeed in the.

The second element that you need to know, that the evil has two goals in what it causes you to fail:

1. The very ‘avayrah’ itself.

2. The despair it causes you.

And the second point, is much more important and significant than the first. And I’ll explain things:

When the evil instinct succeeds in bringing you down again and again, the greatest danger is actually raising a “white flag”, whether in relation to this specific offense (i.e., thinking: “There is nothing to do, I am addicted and I cannot overcome this lust” – and then we will do it as a permit and can go through this sin again and again without trying to fight against the evil at all), whether in relation to your entire connection to the observance of Torah and mitzvot (i.e. thinking: “I am an evil and evil person” – and in any case feels no urge to invest in studying Torah and praying intentionally and in the whole subject of the closeness to hashem, because he sees himself in the darkest distance from G-d and as if he were so unwelcome before Him).

So you should know that the main principle is to never despair on yourself, whether regarding this sin (to know that it is always possible and in any situation to awaken and overcome the inclination, as mentioned above, G-d does not bring upon man an experience that cannot be overcome, and even a person who has committed all the sins in the Torah still has within him the holy spark from which he has the power to repent and buy his world in one hour[3]), Whether regarding all the observance of Torah and mitzvot (which the Sages have already said: “And do not be evil infront of yourself”[4], and it is necessary to know and remember that G-d loves each one of the jews with a fierce and incomprehensible love, even when the Jew is in the lowest spiritual state[5], and as long as we are still alive, G-d waits for us to return to Him more than a father awaits his son, and a wife for her husband[6] ).

And how to overcome the instinct in this thing?

The Gaon Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanieyivski zt”l (the Steifler) extends this matter in his letters[7], and apart from what he expanded there in the matter of studying the Torah with the perseverance that it causes a person to disconnect from himself from this terrible sin, and wrote there the ways of fighting against the inclination in this matter to those who have already been rooted in much sin, and he, who should not expect that one day will completely stop the sin (although it is possible, But usually for those who are rooted, the matter is a process), but what they are tasked with trying to do is, to minimize as much as possible the falls, that is, even if he fails to stop abruptly, the main thing is to start distancing between sin and sin as much as possible, each time there will be more time without failing. And every time he falls, he will not think about it at all, as if nothing happened, but will only tell to himself the progress, how each time he holds out longer without failing.

 [And even if it happens that there is a period that he falls a lot, the main thing is that in general there will be a “rising graph”, that in the graph there are periods of increases and there are periods of declines but in general the graph is up. In short, you have to know how to win a war, even if sometimes you fall in battle, and after falling in battle do not think about it at all, think only of war].

And should see only on what he gained every time he overcomes, and in particular this I will copy the language of the Stiefler zt”l: “A man who has failed several times, Rahmana Litzlan, in any case, if on the other hand many times he wins and overcomes, then at the same time he overcomes the lust that burns in him in a terrible way, then he continues the light of holiness on himself and on the worlds in a very, very holy way, And a very large part of the holy sparks what was snatched from the abundance to the “Sitra Ahchra”, he brings them out and brings them back to holiness, and it cannot be assumed that the magnitude of the holy exaltation is the man who conquers his lust at this time, and he is then the just like Joseph hatzadick.

[And of course, from a halachic point of view, it is not permissible to fail even once, but the “staypler” reveals to us that whoever is already rooted in this sin should not think about it, because if he thinks about it, he may raise a “white flag”, so it is God’s will that we look only at the war in general and not on the battles, and see only the the victories and forget the falls, and then in the end he will win the war. And a person does not have to think about “repairs” when he falls, and only after the wedding that he has already reached a safe place, then he can think of repairs such as “Tikun shovavim].

And in the Book ‘benai yisroel’ (in his faith he will live)[9] he wrote in a fine illustration: ” And there is more comfort to G-d when a person overcomes himself than the slavery of angels and seraphim, and it is precisely then – out of a similar situation – that a corps can rise to a high rank, which, although wounded, continues to fight, which is not so in times of peace, is a rare thing that will rise in rank“.

And don’t worry, you won’t have to constantly be in such an arduous war, because a great rule was said by our rabbis [10]: “Rabbi Yochanan said: A small organ has for a man, when it is in starvation – he is fluffed, and when it is satisfaction – there is hunger.” That is, when you begin to overcome frequently, you will feel great relief, that there is no longer such a desire to sin.

Of course, it is very good for to study from time to time moral books regarding the magnitude of the importance of maintaining the sanctity of the Holy bris, and for example the holy book of Rabbi Aharon Rata z”l and so on, but note that this will not cause him to fall into sadness and despair, but will learn about the way of “wanting and returning”[11], which on the one hand will see the reductions of sin but on the other hand will immediately think thoughts of greatness as he is capable of and in the end will win, And will not look at the past at all but will open each time a “new page” again and again without fear, because that is the will of hashem’.

And also, anyone who really wants to fight against his evil, he must distance himself from movies and the hacked Internet (each from the point of the situation he is in now – step by step), because it is impossible for him to open the door to the evil inclination to enter, and will lay out a “red carpet” in front of him, and then want to fight it.

Virtues to overcome the evil instinct

And I will state in this some “virtues” that help a person to overcome his instincts, but it is necessary to know that these are not “magic solutions” but only an addition of spiritual strength to weaken the intensity of war, but he must make an effort to fight anyway:

• Will learn every day a few minutes in the holy Book of Zohar, that the Zohar purifies the soul.

• A virtue that he will not sin, when overcome by the instinct of evil, will paint in his mind as if he were facing a great figure of a great man in the Torah (such asMaran Rabbino Ovadia Yosef z”l), and his terror and reverence falls on his face, and in this he will prevent and do not sin (Sefer Shevat Mussar chapter 12).).

• And he will draw in his mind a picture of his father (as the act of Joseph the Righteous in the Midrash, and so maran ha-Hida in the book Tzafran Shamir 68:18, and in the book Hagarach Falaji in The Book of Moed LeChai Chapter 28, and in his book rah Haim Parashat Vayeshev).

• In the book of Maggid Misharim, the angel revealed to the bait yoshef that in order to abolish bad reflections, he would recite these verses three times: : י-ה-ו-ה צְבָאוֹת עִמָּנוּ מִשְׂגָּב לָנוּ אֱלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב סֶלָה: י-ה-ו-ה צְבָאוֹת אַשְׁרֵי אָדָם בֹּטֵחַ בָּךְ: י-ה-ו-ה הוֹשִׁיעָה הַמֶּלֶךְ יַעֲנֵנוּ בְיוֹם קָרְאֵנוּ:

• Furthermore, the aforementioned angel revealed to him, another virtue, to think (without taking it out of his mouth): קר”ע שט”ן””.

• In the Book of Actions ‘rabbi chaim vital’ wrote that whoever has bad reflections will recite the verses that begin with the letter  ה’of the Psalms Psalm 119, and in the Book kedushat yitzchak (photographs of the manuscripts of the Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Kadorie z”l) page 399 wrote to say 21 times the verse “”הוֹרֵנִי ה’ דַּרְכֶּךָ אֲהַלֵּךְ בַּאֲמִתֶּךָ יַחֵד לְבָבִי לְיִרְאָה שְׁמֶךָ and then add the verses of the letter ה’ from Psalm 119 as mentioned above.

• And another virtue from the the ‘Arizal’, whenever you has a lust, you will think in his mind three times (without taking out a of his mouth) the holy name: דַמוֹדַטִירוֹן

• Rabbi Falaji wrote: To read every day (even on Shabbat) these verses, which in this way will weaken the power of evil inclination: י-ה-ו-ה אֱלֹהֶיךָ הוּא עֹבֵר לְפָנֶיךָ הוּא יַשְׁמִיד אֶת הַגּוֹיִם הָאֵלֶּה מִלְּפָנֶיךָ וִירִשְׁתָּם. יְהוֹשֻׁעַ הוּא עֹבֵר לְפָנֶיךָ כַּאֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר י-ה-ו-ה: י-ה-ו-ה לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וּנְגִנוֹתַי נְנַגֵּן כָּל יְמֵי חַיֵּינוּ עַל בֵּית י-ה-ו-ה: אֱלֹהִים אַל דֳּמִי לָךְ אַל תֶּחֱרַשׁ וְאַל תִּשְׁקֹט אֵל: י-ה-ו-ה עֹז לְעַמּוֹ יִתֵּן י-ה-ו-ה יְבָרֵךְ אֶת עַמּוֹ בַשָּׁלוֹם:

• In the sefar vdarashtah vechkartah (ch. 18) brings a list of virtues for the abolition of evil instincts and evil thoughts, from the “Book of Virtues”, and these are briefly: 1.) that he confesses before a talmid chacham) 2. that he will tell the deeds of the righteous, 3. that he will judge every person to the good ,4. that he will cry when praying, 5. that he will strap himself in the belt of some righteous man, 6. that he will think about some innovations of the Torah that he has renewed, 7. that he will speak to himself with delusions, 8. that he should not eat to much 9. grind his teeth, 10. learn mishnayot tractate ‘yadaim’, 11. that he should pray for the Shechina, 12. that he should visit the sick, 13. that he should say “”רחמנא יגער ביה בשטן” (Rahmana will rebuke the devil”), 14. that he will prevent himself from transgressions and ask for atonement, 15. that he will not steal the minds of others, 16. that he will give charity.

• Always take in his pocket a leaf of “ערבות” (there is no need to have the ערבה from the holiday of Sukkot, but any ערבה is useful for this, and if he still has from the ערבה that hit on the day of הושענה רבה this has priority). The ערבה can be closed with cellotype glue.

• Read 9 times chapter 21 of the Psalms, and after each time pray to the Lord that he will not fail. And this is the chapter: לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד: י-ה-ו-ה בְּעָזְּךָ יִשְׂמַח מֶלֶךְ וּבִישׁוּעָתְךָ מַה יגיל יָּגֶל מְאֹד: תַּאֲוַת לִבּוֹ נָתַתָּה לּוֹ וַאֲרֶשֶׁת שְׂפָתָיו בַּל מָנַעְתָּ סֶּלָה: כִּי תְקַדְּמֶנּוּ בִּרְכוֹת טוֹב תָּשִׁית לְרֹאשׁוֹ עֲטֶרֶת פָּז: חַיִּים שָׁאַל מִמְּךָ נָתַתָּה לּוֹ אֹרֶךְ יָמִים עוֹלָם וָעֶד: גָּדוֹל כְּבוֹדוֹ בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ הוֹד וְהָדָר תְּשַׁוֶּה עָלָיו: כִּי תְשִׁיתֵהוּ בְרָכוֹת לָעַד תְּחַדֵּהוּ בְשִׂמְחָה אֶת פָּנֶיךָ: כִּי הַמֶּלֶךְ בֹּטֵחַ בַּיקֹוָק וּבְחֶסֶד עֶלְיוֹן בַּל יִמּוֹט: תִּמְצָא יָדְךָ לְכָל אֹיְבֶיךָ יְמִינְךָ תִּמְצָא שֹׂנְאֶיךָ: תְּשִׁיתֵמוֹ כְּתַנּוּר אֵשׁ לְעֵת פָּנֶיךָ י-ה-ו-ה בְּאַפּוֹ יְבַלְּעֵם וְתֹאכְלֵם אֵשׁ: פִּרְיָמוֹ מֵאֶרֶץ תְּאַבֵּד וְזַרְעָם מִבְּנֵי אָדָם: כִּי נָטוּ עָלֶיךָ רָעָה חָשְׁבוּ מְזִמָּה בַּל יוּכָלוּ: כִּי תְּשִׁיתֵמוֹ שֶׁכֶם בְּמֵיתָרֶיךָ תְּכוֹנֵן עַל פְּנֵיהֶם: רוּמָה י-ה-ו-ה בְּעֻזֶּךָ נָשִׁירָה וּנְזַמְּרָה גְּבוּרָתֶךָ:

• And of course, the strongest “virtue” is: to pray more and more, to pray and to pray, and Hashem hears the prayer of every mouth.

And finally I will note that there is an organization here in israel of telephone support for young people to help them with these issues, call the organization “ונשמרתם”, I have not checked the way they operate, but it turns out that sacred work is being done in this area.