on: Why did God create me ‘gay’, if He commands my soul to love His Law?
: In your question, your pain is evident, and your desire to uphold the laws of the Torah, I share with you the pain. It is important for you to know that a different sex orientation is an experience that G-d gives to man, sometimes experience is imagination, sometimes it is real, but you have to remember that it is only an experience, and G-d expects you to withstand it, and despite the difficulty of trying it is up to you not to be tempted, but to hold on tight and keep the laws of the holy Torah. The Creator of the world knows better than us, what is good for us, and He is the one who commanded us that a man should establish a house with a woman specifically, and not with a man. We do not know and understand him always, why it is precisely in you that he chose to withstand this experience. I can only tell you, that the Almighty who loves you so much, would not have given you experience, if not that He knew that you could withstand it. You have been chosen to endure an experience that does not exist for everyone, because you are more special in the eyes of G-d, and because G-d believes in you to withstand His experience. You are allowed and you should ask G-d for help in withstanding the trial, and He is sure to hear your prayer. In addition, you will make an effort to learn a little Torah, because the virtue of the Torah is to transfer the thoughts and lusts for things that are not good. I am sure that you will overcome and withstand this experience, I recommend that you share with rabbis who know you who will refer you to appropriate professionals, who will be able to make it easier for you to withstand the experience, and direct you to reach true satisfaction and joy in knowing a woman who suits you and your character. Wishing you success and confident in your success Sources and Scores
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