It came to my attention that when going to the bathroom (after taking my medication in the form of prescriptions), semen leaks out. It is a natural occurrence for my body and immune system. Not only that, but the medications reduce my sperm quality and count. And I wanted to know if this is considered an unintentional sin. (H-shem have mercy on me)
This is something that truly breaks my heart; it goes against my will and my soul, but in the end, my body gives in. I can’t take it any longer. I feel as if my soul, my life, my essence, and everything that H-shem has ever given me fall apart.
Furthermore, I always wanted to have children. I always wanted girls. I dream about having them; I want to raise lovely, innocent tzaddikot; and I want to get married as soon as possible. I wish everyone healthy, perfect children and a great family.
I will do everything in my power to raise them. I will guard my eyes and my thoughts; I won’t go astray after my hearth; I won’t give in to any form of temptation; I will diminish my evil incantation; I will always repent and cry; I will do teshuvah till there is nothing left of me. I will never give up hope. And I will put a fence around me and my Family to keep them safe from the all things evil. I will always trust in H-shem.
My Question down the Line is : is this considered an unintentional sin / tragedy? I really hope so. I can’t take it, my life is falling apart. (for now). And I really hope that H-shem has mercy on my Soul. I never wanted this to happen in the first place.
PLEASE NOTE*
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