Peace and Blessings
Firstly I’m sorry to hear about this, hope the problem will be settled soon and you will be happy with your wife in every way.
Regarding your question,
There are two halachic motives on the fundamental question of whether a man is allowed to take a mistress in addition to his wife.
The first question is, the obligation of the man to his wife not to marry another woman to her, this obligation is the duty of every man to his wife at the time of his marriage, since the custom is that every man has one wife.
The second question is whether there is a halachic permit for conjugal relations between a man and a woman when they are not married.
Regarding the first question, according to you your wife agrees to this, so it can be said that this problem has been solved. However, it is hard for me to believe that a woman would agree to her husband having a relationship with another woman, so it is clear that it is necessary for a neutral rabbi to meet both of you and confirm that the woman’s consent is given with consent and wholeheartedly.
Regarding the second question, there is a great and enormous disagreement between the first and last poskim as to whether a mistress can be allowed, and most of the poskim side that there is a clear prohibition on conjugal relations with a mistress without kiddushin.
In addition, the poskim noted another problem that exists in unmarried relationships, that a woman who is not married as a religion and lawfully is ashamed to go to the mikveh to immerse herself in her wandering, and thus can almost certainly reach an obstacle.
Therefore, in theory, it is not possible to permit a relationship with a mistress in any way.
The right way for you is, to go to professional and appropriate advice to solve the problem you mentioned in your question,
I am sure that with proper effort, plus a prayer to the Creator of the world, G-d will send a cure for medicine and ascend, and you will find enough satisfaction in the woman of your youth, in joy in holiness and purity.
Multiple regards
PLEASE NOTE*
Attention: You should not learn from one case to another, each case must be analyzed individually. Generally speaking, it's always best to have contact with a Rabbi in person, not just virtual contact. Note that where there is a local Rabbi("Mara Deatra"), one should ask him. The answers are under the responsibility of the rabbi who responded, and not under the responsibility of the website and/or the Head of the Institution.
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