Country: ארצות הברית

Question

 Hi Im 25 years old, and recently moved out of the house to a different state, and my father is asking me to come back and live in the same state as him. Am I obligated to do so?

Answer

Hello & Greetings

The mitzvah of respecting your parents is a great mitzvah, and is equivalent to the honor of hashem.

It is true that not every request of the parents has an obligation to fulfill it on the part of this mitzvah, but only a request whose purpose is to respect and provide for the parents.

Therefore, if your father asks you to return and live next to him so that you can serve him and help him, this is the mitzvah of “kibud av”, but if he asks you to return to him just so that he can see you and be calm that you are by his side, it does not belong in this mitzvah of honoring a father.

Even if your father asks you to come help him and feed him, if you move your place of residence to your father’s area of residence, and by doing so God forbid your loose your job, or there are no good educational institutions for your children in this area, etc., you are not obligated by the mitzvah to move to live next to your father when you are losing from it.

However, if you do not have a great and significant loss for yourself, you are commanded to move in next to your father to help him honor and provide for him. And G-d is faithful to pay the reward of this great mitzvah, for which the Torah said, Honor your father and mother for the sake of lengthening your days.

It is important to note that in any situation, even if the mitzvah does not oblige you to move in next to them, it is still obligatory to respect the parents in any other way, both by phone and by regular updates on your situation, etc.

Welcome

Rabbi David Ohayon

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