Sources and Reasons:
The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim, siman 240, סעיף 12) writes: It is forbidden to engage in marital relations during years of famine, except for those who are childless. The Rema (ibid.) writes that the same applies to other calamities. His source is the Yerushalmi. However, Maran did not mention other calamities, only years of famine; likewise, the Gemara in Ta’anit (10a) mentions this ruling only with regard to a year of famine. Moreover, regarding Maran’s wording that it is “forbidden” to engage in marital relations, the Birkei Yosef (siman 574, se’if katan 1) writes that this is only an act of piety, as Tosafot write (Ta’anit 10a). The Knesset HaGedolah writes likewise, and the common practice has relied on this to be lenient.
See also Shu”t Yabia Omer, vol. 7 (Choshen Mishpat, siman 7), which cites several other instances where the term “forbidden” is used but refers to matters of piety. In any event, regarding other calamities, such as war, one may certainly rely on this, and this is likewise ruled by the Kaf HaChaim (siman 240, se’if katan 85). The Sha’ar HaTziyun (siman 574, se’if katan 8) writes that in other calamities it is only an act of piety, since this was not mentioned in our Talmud.
Where one has not fulfilled the mitzvah of procreation, he certainly should not be stringent upon himself in this matter. The same applies on the night of immersion, as stated by the Shulchan Aruch (siman 240) and the Mishnah Berurah (se’if katan 47).
Even where one is permitted to refrain as an act of piety, this is only with his wife’s consent. Although Maran the Chatam Sofer (siman 149) writes that anyone who wishes to be pious and abstinent, even if he was not abstinent at the time of marriage, may be stringent upon himself and remove his obligation to his wife, and that it brings his wife joy with every level that he rises in the service of Hashem—and this is cited in Pitchei Teshuvah (Yoreh De’ah, siman 188, se’if katan 2)—nevertheless, see Shu”t Me’il Tzedakah (siman 43), which writes that one should not be stringent in matters of piety without his wife’s consent. See also Sha’arei Teshuvah (siman 582) concerning abstaining on Rosh Hashanah and on the other days regarding which Rabbeinu HaAri z”l wrote that it is proper to abstain from marital relations: since everyone follows this practice, she married him with this understanding. This requires further consideration in relation to our case.
Nevertheless, since this can often lead to wasted seed, especially in our morally permissive generation, as well as to sinful thoughts—see Mishnah Berurah (siman 240, se’if katan 46) in the name of Eliyah Rabbah and Beit Meir—one should not be stringent in this matter. However, if he wishes to be stringent as an act of piety and his wife agrees, he should reduce marital relations from his usual practice, and the wise man keeps his eyes open.
This response was translated automatically from Hebrew and has not yet been reviewed by a person. Therefore, it may contain inaccuracies and should not be considered a definitive reference.
