Sources and Reasons:
Indeed, it is accepted that a Jewish man who was delayed in finding a shidduch approached Maran, who instructed him to take a stone from the grave of the holy Ohr HaChaim and promise to return it when he found his spouse. He did so, and it helped him immediately. This is in fact explained by the Aderet in his work Har HaMoriah (letter 73), concerning the practice of taking a stone from the grave of Rabbi Kalonymus Baal HaNes, who instructed that no tombstone be erected on his grave, but only a pile of stones. Those who went up to Jerusalem would take stones from his grave as a segulah.
Regarding the halachic question of whether this is permitted, we find in the Gemara (Sanhedrin 47b) that they would take earth from Rav’s grave as a remedy for a one-day fever. Shmuel said that this was permitted and did not constitute forbidden benefit from the deceased. See there. (See also Ben Yehoyada there.) Maran likewise ruled in the Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah (siman 364, סעיף 1), that it is permitted. However, the Rema wrote (below, siman 368, סעיף 1) that nevertheless, one should not take from the earth due to the honor of the deceased. See there. See further Chazon Ovadia—Aveilut, vol. 1 (p. 436, note 4), where this is explained.
In any case, in the matter before us it is clear that there is no prohibition, for he is not taking earth from the grave but rather a stone lying around the grave. Clearly, there is no prohibition of benefit involved, nor is there an issue of the honor of the deceased even according to the Rema, since he is not taking a stone that covers the deceased.
Nevertheless, it is not explained whether one must place the stone directly on the tombstone, or whether placing it even near the four amot of the gravesite is sufficient. It appears, based on what is written in Chazon Ovadia, vol. 1—Aveilut (p. 458), that one who visits a cemetery places a stone upon the tombstone as a matter of honor for the deceased, demonstrating that he was at the grave. This is also written by Eliyah Rabbah (siman 224), Birkei Yosef (subsection 7), and Kaf HaChaim (subsection 42). Therefore, it is preferable to place it directly on the tombstone, for this honors the deceased by showing that he was there and visited him.
This response was translated automatically from Hebrew and has not yet been reviewed by a person. Therefore, it may contain inaccuracies and should not be considered a definitive reference.
